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Dear Yuletide Writer 2020
Oct. 19th, 2020 09:24 amDear Yuletide writer,
thank you for offering one of my fandoms, and I hope you have a beautiful Yuletide <3 I'm really buzzing with excitement for this one. There are so many things I can't wait to write, read, and/or comment on!
I love fluff and angst, and hurt/comfort (either emotional or physical) makes me fall to the floor and roll around. I love it when characters try not to be obvious about their feelings for each other but fail!! I have such a thing for stiff upper lip (that eventually results in an epic breakdown or ten). All my canons are full of people who desperately need to hug each other but are prevented from doing so by social conventions, hierarchy, or straight up shame 8_8 And the resulting angst is so delicious.
In addition to that, I enjoy extreme expressions of love (whether in the characters' inner thoughts or openly to each other). You may choose to use the more healthy ones (e.g. about how much they mean to each other and the fact that they're each other's adoptive family) or the less healthy ones (e.g. that they're pretty much willing to literally murder/die/sell their immortal soul for each other). Both are great!
Also, awkwardness, especially for characters who are not great at expressing emotion. Just being awkward and clueless and self-conscious about it, LOL.
My misc interests include music (classical, but I also like other kinds), historical fashion, art, horror, human anatomy (this being my degree path), botany and zoology, and a bunch of other things. Generally, if you'd like to include something nerdy, artsy, or sciencey into your work, do not hesitate :D But it is by no means a requirement.
I love canon setting fic and AU fic about equally. Fantasy, mundane, historical, canon divergence, magical realism, daemons - go to town. Elements of supernatural are perfectly welcome! I mentioned horror as my general interest above; that means that I will also enjoy horror tropes in fic even if the original canon doesn't belong to the genre. That goes double for canons that do actually have horror tropes in them (such as Murder Rooms and Planescape: Torment).
1. Planescape: Torment. Requested characters: Fall-from-Grace, Dak'kon the Pariah, Morte, and The Nameless One.
- I have a huge weakness for Grace's friendship with Dak'kon. A couple of Yuletides ago I wrote a fic about them and that may have made me fall into a distinctly Dak'kon & Grace-shaped hole. They're just so... repressed... and so fond of each other... Well, if you've read my likes and/or any of my other letters, you know where this is going. I want them to platonically Love each other.
When it comes to Grace and Dak'kon, I'm really delighted by the idea that Dak'kon is one of the few people around Grace who don't think about her sexually or romantically, at all, and yet love her. It just doesn't occur to him at all. He loves her so much but not in that way. I think it must make Grace very happy, considering that she's a succubus. I'd love to see exploration of her maybe questioning his affection and thinking that he might be non-platonically attracted to her, only to be stunned to find out that he sees her as one of his closest friends.
And when it comes to physical gestures of platonic affection, there's so much here that can be explored. Grace letting him handle her wings - maybe because they're injured, or just because they need grooming and it's difficult for her to do it on her own. Dak'kon entrusting her with the Circle of Zerthimon. Them using their respective powers to protect each other and keep each other safe, especially if these powers are something they wouldn't use for any other purpose!! Just them being very Protective of each other and deeply understanding of each other's suffering.
Maybe they can never fully undo what was done to them, but their unique friendship can make it that much more bearable <3 <3
- Morte and the Nameless One were my baby's first brOTP when I played Planescape!! The extent to which Morte is loyal to TNO even despite being, let's admit it, a coward with questionable morals (I say this very lovingly) makes me happy. And obviously the canon talks about his immense sense of guilt binding him to TNO the way the other companions' suffering binds them, but I think there's more to it than that. I think in TNO's kinder incarnations, they're pretty close, or as close as a flying skull can be to a decaying undead dude. And in TNO's more fucked up incarnations, they're also close but in a toxic way.
The way my Neutral Good TNO kept banging on about his friends in the Fortress of Regrets really got to me, too. He and the Transcendent One were like, "bow before me, pathetic creature," - "don't touch my companions!" - "I didn't even say anything about your companions..." - "they're my friends!" - "yeah well not for long, I plan on-" - "mY cOmPaNiOnS" :'D
He loves them, okay <3 He loves Morte ✿♥‿♥✿
There are just so many complex feelings here and I'd love to see them explored. The bit in my likes that refers to emotional awkwardness is definitely applicable here. TNO and Morte wouldn't know how to express mutual affection and respect in a normal way if it came with an instruction manual.
My preference is generally for Good or Neutral TNO who's specifically nice to his friends, although other alignments and incarnations can be brought up, too.
2. Murder Rooms: The Dark Beginnings of Sherlock Holmes. Requested characters: Arthur Conan Doyle and Joseph Bell. Optional characters: Samuel Fergusson is in the tagset, but also feel free to include literally anyone else from the series.
First of all, honestly, I'll read anything in this fandom. If you want to ODAO, that wouldn't be a problem at all. Write whatever the hell you want, I'll be overjoyed in any event. But if you want specific prompts, here's a list of some ideas:
- Who the fuck is Samuel Fergusson? How's he the only one who gets to call Bell by his first name, and yet we hardly know anything about their relationship? They must've met when Bell was younger, and the prospect of learning more about Young and Vulnerable Bell is just so appealing to me. I love it when Bell is vulnerable. He's such a stoic, he deserves some warmth and comfort for everything he's gone through. What does Samuel Fergusson know about him? When did they switch to first-name basis? WillBell's adopted son Arthur Doyle ever find out??
I mean, he has to find out, really... Otherwise who will give Bell the hugs he clearly needs?
Casefic welcome but by no means a requirement!
- AUs!! Wingfic! Platonic soulmates! Daemons (I am also an HDM fan)! I would adore any of that. I got a few AU fics for Rooms in Yuletides past and loved them hell out of them. I have such a weakness for Emotions Manifesting Through Magic (where Magic can be wings, or daemons, or soulbonds). Or just for characters doing their thing in different settings, not necessarily magical. Steampunk! Noir! Hell, if you want to write a mundane AU or a coffee shop AU, go to town!! I want to know everything about Bell's coffee preferences!
- When I was writing the bit in my general likes that pertains to sexual orientations, it also occurred to me that I'd actually be pleased to read something like this about Rooms. I mean, I think Bell hasn't been attracted to anyone else since he'd met Edith, but Doyle could well be bi and I feel like that would be a cool idea to explore. Him feeling anxious about that, what with this being the Victorian era, and Bell being supportive ^--^ If you choose to do this, though, please don't make it too depressing, because Doyle deserves some happiness romantic relationships-wise.
If you don't want to write, like, an Identity Exploration thing, you're also absolutely free to just make Doyle Casually Bi in a story that's not about his bisexuality. It'd make me happy!
For the purposes of this prompt, sexual fantasies and conversations, as well as sex scenes, are fine to include as long as the friendship is equally centered. I'm still not looking for a PWP but sexual content is fine and appropriate here.
- Something taking place post-canon! I'm big mad that the show was cancelled, so I want to know all about them meeting again and their friendship evolving further <3 <3 <3
3. Christmas Cottage (Thomas Kinkade painting). Requested characters: none.
Right. So, for this fandom, disregard what I said about wanting my gifts to be focussed on a relationship between two characters. I mean, if you want to introduce an OC protag and their BFF being adorable with each other, I'll love that, but that's not the focus of the prompt. The reason I'm requesting this is because I saw someone's genius observation about how Kinkade's (endearingly awful) paintings always feature houses that look like they're on fire from the inside due to him overdoing it with the lighting.
As a horror fan, I got an immense kick out of this observation and immediately decided that I would request Christmas Cottage for Yuletide.
So what I want for this fandom is a Kinkade painting being haunted or coming to life. Or perhaps not even anything that explicitly magical - the owner could just notice a increasing amount of disturbing details in the painting that seem to gradually reveal themselves.
Maybe the house is actually on fire and tormented screams faintly echo in the surrounding landscape. Or perhaps the house is a portal to Hell. Or perhaps it's alive and the fic is written from its POV. I know two things: I want it to be horror, and I want it to be disturbing. The exact extent to which it's disturbing is up to you, dear writer.
4. Monday Begins on Saturday, Arkady and Boris Strugatsky. Requested characters: Aleksandr Privalov and Roman Oira-Oira. Optionally: Fyodor Simeonovich Kivrin.
Full disclosure: I'm an Eastern European (not wholly Russian, but Russian among other things) who spent most of her life in the region. I really adore the Strugatskys, and Monday Begins on Saturday holds a special place in my heart. It's just so warm and funny and sadly hopeful. And it reflects the nature of academia in EE so well, with all its Vybegallos and its bureaucracy and its lack of proper organization and at the same time, its spirit of genuine scientific passion :D
It also contains a lot of Classic Mentor-Protege friendships <3 <3 I'm very weak for these, ever since I first read Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog as a child. There's just something about a more academically experienced person befriending and nurturing a less academically experienced younger person that is extremely satisfying to me. Roman is so nice to and so protective of Sasha, especially in the final showdown!! And Kivrin! Kivrin is such a warm quasi-parental figure to all of them ;__;
I'm not even particularly sure what I want for this fandom. Perhaps a casefic? Not necessarily epic and long, it can just be a brief exploration of a magical problem they encounter. Perhaps someone's life is in danger and someone else protects them! I can just imagine Oira-Oira being incredibly badass. Or Sasha being very brave and looking pretty stupid while doing that.
Or pehraps it's not a life-threatening problem at all! Perhaps they're just trying to solve a complex issue. And Sasha comes up with some great idea and Oira-Oira and/or Kivrin are super proud of him.
Or, or, in the best traditions of Russian literature and Russian life... perhaps it's just characters sitting in a kitchen, drinking tea from faceted glasses, and having an interminable conversation about politics and personal feelings <3 <3 <3 X) "Bear in the North" chocolates optional (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ru/c/c5/Mishka_na_severe_Big.jpg).
5. Murder Rooms (Book Series) - David Pirie. Requested characters: Joseph Bell, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Thomas Neill Cream.
I have a few ideas!! Pls read and choose whatever you want! Or ODAO and write me something completely different!
- Doyle just having massive PTSD/emotional issues in the aftermath of being captured by Cream (or in the aftermath of any Cream-related episode, honestly - it's all so traumatizing for poor Doyle), and Bell being the only one who can help and make him feel better and like he could actually heal from this someday. Maybe there's only emotional stuff involved; maybe it's about the physical torture, or maybe something noncon-flavoured occurred between Cream and Doyle (not necessarily outright rape, sexual assault/hints/general sleaziness also work). Either way, Suffering and Hurt/Comfort ensue!!
For the purpose of this prompt, it's fine to make a lot of things in the story sexual in nature and to include sexual aspects in flashbacks and conversations, as long as they're treated as clearly traumatizing.
- (not necessarily featuring Cream) Just any moment of emotional closeness where these two utter morons realize how much they care about each other. I love them so much, but I swear to g-d their friendship is the most interminable platonic slow-burn to ever grace this earth,,,
Feel free to borrow from/remix/spoof a Canon story, as is traditional for Murder Rooms :D
- (also not necessarily featuring Cream) On that note, I'll love anything that plays with a Canon story in-universe. How did something get written? What were the characters' reactions? What does Bell think of "his" portrayal as Holmes? How does Doyle feel about writing what is essentially iddy self-insert fanfic about Bell? XD Some of my favourite stories are BLUE, COPP, and HOUN. And, of course, 3GAR is a classic and there's a whole tradition of remixing it in Holmesian fandoms, so I'll always be delighted by a 3GAR exploration...
- In one of previous exchanges, I requested the freeform "Aftermath Of One Character Discovering That the Other Wouldn't Sacrifice Them For the Greater Good". I really want a confrontation over the fact that even though they swore to capture or kill Neill at any cost, neither of them is actually willing to sacrifice the other for that purpose. And one of them trying to give their life for the Greater Good (be it removing Neill or dealing with another similarly overwhelming threat) would make the other have a total ugly meltdown. Like, Doyle has always known one of them might die, but when he thinks Bell actually died, he loses his shit. And Bell says his life would be "unendurable" if Doyle got killed by one of Neill's surprises. They think they're SO prepared for this, but they're just. Really Not, lol. And I can just imagine them furiously shouting at each other, "so what, he gets to live?!" - "yes, if that means you live!"
It's just darkly hilarious to me that when they go, "yeah, we're totally prepared to die for this", what each of them actually means is "I will die for this so that he may live".
thank you for offering one of my fandoms, and I hope you have a beautiful Yuletide <3 I'm really buzzing with excitement for this one. There are so many things I can't wait to write, read, and/or comment on!
- My AO3 handle is plumedy. Some bits of this letter will be copied, with some minor adjustments, from the DYW letters I wrote in the past; other bits will be entirely new
- DNW: porn. I define this as sex that's not happening for plot reasons. Sex happening for plot reasons is okay. Characters having sexual thoughts as a part of their characterization (e.g. to denote their orientation, or wrt sexual trauma) is fine.
- Specific opt-ins (not necessarily things I specifically want - rather, these are things that you're free to include): crossovers (as long as they're with fandoms I know); identity headcanons, including trans, nb, ace and others; graphic harm to animals and animal death; in-universe bigotry (i.e. characters being racist or homophobic or antisemitic, as long as they're clearly written as being in the wrong. This is largely about OCs since for most of my requested characters, that won't be IC, but e.g. for some like Cream it definitely is IC.)
- Likes: intense. Platonic. Relationships. I'm just incredibly into people of any gender loving each other platonically.
I love fluff and angst, and hurt/comfort (either emotional or physical) makes me fall to the floor and roll around. I love it when characters try not to be obvious about their feelings for each other but fail!! I have such a thing for stiff upper lip (that eventually results in an epic breakdown or ten). All my canons are full of people who desperately need to hug each other but are prevented from doing so by social conventions, hierarchy, or straight up shame 8_8 And the resulting angst is so delicious.
In addition to that, I enjoy extreme expressions of love (whether in the characters' inner thoughts or openly to each other). You may choose to use the more healthy ones (e.g. about how much they mean to each other and the fact that they're each other's adoptive family) or the less healthy ones (e.g. that they're pretty much willing to literally murder/die/sell their immortal soul for each other). Both are great!
Also, awkwardness, especially for characters who are not great at expressing emotion. Just being awkward and clueless and self-conscious about it, LOL.
My misc interests include music (classical, but I also like other kinds), historical fashion, art, horror, human anatomy (this being my degree path), botany and zoology, and a bunch of other things. Generally, if you'd like to include something nerdy, artsy, or sciencey into your work, do not hesitate :D But it is by no means a requirement.
I love canon setting fic and AU fic about equally. Fantasy, mundane, historical, canon divergence, magical realism, daemons - go to town. Elements of supernatural are perfectly welcome! I mentioned horror as my general interest above; that means that I will also enjoy horror tropes in fic even if the original canon doesn't belong to the genre. That goes double for canons that do actually have horror tropes in them (such as Murder Rooms and Planescape: Torment).
My requests (not in order of importance, I love them equally):
1. Planescape: Torment. Requested characters: Fall-from-Grace, Dak'kon the Pariah, Morte, and The Nameless One.
- I have a huge weakness for Grace's friendship with Dak'kon. A couple of Yuletides ago I wrote a fic about them and that may have made me fall into a distinctly Dak'kon & Grace-shaped hole. They're just so... repressed... and so fond of each other... Well, if you've read my likes and/or any of my other letters, you know where this is going. I want them to platonically Love each other.
When it comes to Grace and Dak'kon, I'm really delighted by the idea that Dak'kon is one of the few people around Grace who don't think about her sexually or romantically, at all, and yet love her. It just doesn't occur to him at all. He loves her so much but not in that way. I think it must make Grace very happy, considering that she's a succubus. I'd love to see exploration of her maybe questioning his affection and thinking that he might be non-platonically attracted to her, only to be stunned to find out that he sees her as one of his closest friends.
And when it comes to physical gestures of platonic affection, there's so much here that can be explored. Grace letting him handle her wings - maybe because they're injured, or just because they need grooming and it's difficult for her to do it on her own. Dak'kon entrusting her with the Circle of Zerthimon. Them using their respective powers to protect each other and keep each other safe, especially if these powers are something they wouldn't use for any other purpose!! Just them being very Protective of each other and deeply understanding of each other's suffering.
Maybe they can never fully undo what was done to them, but their unique friendship can make it that much more bearable <3 <3
- Morte and the Nameless One were my baby's first brOTP when I played Planescape!! The extent to which Morte is loyal to TNO even despite being, let's admit it, a coward with questionable morals (I say this very lovingly) makes me happy. And obviously the canon talks about his immense sense of guilt binding him to TNO the way the other companions' suffering binds them, but I think there's more to it than that. I think in TNO's kinder incarnations, they're pretty close, or as close as a flying skull can be to a decaying undead dude. And in TNO's more fucked up incarnations, they're also close but in a toxic way.
The way my Neutral Good TNO kept banging on about his friends in the Fortress of Regrets really got to me, too. He and the Transcendent One were like, "bow before me, pathetic creature," - "don't touch my companions!" - "I didn't even say anything about your companions..." - "they're my friends!" - "yeah well not for long, I plan on-" - "mY cOmPaNiOnS" :'D
He loves them, okay <3 He loves Morte ✿♥‿♥✿
There are just so many complex feelings here and I'd love to see them explored. The bit in my likes that refers to emotional awkwardness is definitely applicable here. TNO and Morte wouldn't know how to express mutual affection and respect in a normal way if it came with an instruction manual.
My preference is generally for Good or Neutral TNO who's specifically nice to his friends, although other alignments and incarnations can be brought up, too.
2. Murder Rooms: The Dark Beginnings of Sherlock Holmes. Requested characters: Arthur Conan Doyle and Joseph Bell. Optional characters: Samuel Fergusson is in the tagset, but also feel free to include literally anyone else from the series.
First of all, honestly, I'll read anything in this fandom. If you want to ODAO, that wouldn't be a problem at all. Write whatever the hell you want, I'll be overjoyed in any event. But if you want specific prompts, here's a list of some ideas:
- Who the fuck is Samuel Fergusson? How's he the only one who gets to call Bell by his first name, and yet we hardly know anything about their relationship? They must've met when Bell was younger, and the prospect of learning more about Young and Vulnerable Bell is just so appealing to me. I love it when Bell is vulnerable. He's such a stoic, he deserves some warmth and comfort for everything he's gone through. What does Samuel Fergusson know about him? When did they switch to first-name basis? Will
I mean, he has to find out, really... Otherwise who will give Bell the hugs he clearly needs?
Casefic welcome but by no means a requirement!
- AUs!! Wingfic! Platonic soulmates! Daemons (I am also an HDM fan)! I would adore any of that. I got a few AU fics for Rooms in Yuletides past and loved them hell out of them. I have such a weakness for Emotions Manifesting Through Magic (where Magic can be wings, or daemons, or soulbonds). Or just for characters doing their thing in different settings, not necessarily magical. Steampunk! Noir! Hell, if you want to write a mundane AU or a coffee shop AU, go to town!! I want to know everything about Bell's coffee preferences!
- When I was writing the bit in my general likes that pertains to sexual orientations, it also occurred to me that I'd actually be pleased to read something like this about Rooms. I mean, I think Bell hasn't been attracted to anyone else since he'd met Edith, but Doyle could well be bi and I feel like that would be a cool idea to explore. Him feeling anxious about that, what with this being the Victorian era, and Bell being supportive ^--^ If you choose to do this, though, please don't make it too depressing, because Doyle deserves some happiness romantic relationships-wise.
If you don't want to write, like, an Identity Exploration thing, you're also absolutely free to just make Doyle Casually Bi in a story that's not about his bisexuality. It'd make me happy!
For the purposes of this prompt, sexual fantasies and conversations, as well as sex scenes, are fine to include as long as the friendship is equally centered. I'm still not looking for a PWP but sexual content is fine and appropriate here.
- Something taking place post-canon! I'm big mad that the show was cancelled, so I want to know all about them meeting again and their friendship evolving further <3 <3 <3
3. Christmas Cottage (Thomas Kinkade painting). Requested characters: none.
Right. So, for this fandom, disregard what I said about wanting my gifts to be focussed on a relationship between two characters. I mean, if you want to introduce an OC protag and their BFF being adorable with each other, I'll love that, but that's not the focus of the prompt. The reason I'm requesting this is because I saw someone's genius observation about how Kinkade's (endearingly awful) paintings always feature houses that look like they're on fire from the inside due to him overdoing it with the lighting.
As a horror fan, I got an immense kick out of this observation and immediately decided that I would request Christmas Cottage for Yuletide.
So what I want for this fandom is a Kinkade painting being haunted or coming to life. Or perhaps not even anything that explicitly magical - the owner could just notice a increasing amount of disturbing details in the painting that seem to gradually reveal themselves.
Maybe the house is actually on fire and tormented screams faintly echo in the surrounding landscape. Or perhaps the house is a portal to Hell. Or perhaps it's alive and the fic is written from its POV. I know two things: I want it to be horror, and I want it to be disturbing. The exact extent to which it's disturbing is up to you, dear writer.
4. Monday Begins on Saturday, Arkady and Boris Strugatsky. Requested characters: Aleksandr Privalov and Roman Oira-Oira. Optionally: Fyodor Simeonovich Kivrin.
Full disclosure: I'm an Eastern European (not wholly Russian, but Russian among other things) who spent most of her life in the region. I really adore the Strugatskys, and Monday Begins on Saturday holds a special place in my heart. It's just so warm and funny and sadly hopeful. And it reflects the nature of academia in EE so well, with all its Vybegallos and its bureaucracy and its lack of proper organization and at the same time, its spirit of genuine scientific passion :D
It also contains a lot of Classic Mentor-Protege friendships <3 <3 I'm very weak for these, ever since I first read Bulgakov's Heart of a Dog as a child. There's just something about a more academically experienced person befriending and nurturing a less academically experienced younger person that is extremely satisfying to me. Roman is so nice to and so protective of Sasha, especially in the final showdown!! And Kivrin! Kivrin is such a warm quasi-parental figure to all of them ;__;
I'm not even particularly sure what I want for this fandom. Perhaps a casefic? Not necessarily epic and long, it can just be a brief exploration of a magical problem they encounter. Perhaps someone's life is in danger and someone else protects them! I can just imagine Oira-Oira being incredibly badass. Or Sasha being very brave and looking pretty stupid while doing that.
Or pehraps it's not a life-threatening problem at all! Perhaps they're just trying to solve a complex issue. And Sasha comes up with some great idea and Oira-Oira and/or Kivrin are super proud of him.
Or, or, in the best traditions of Russian literature and Russian life... perhaps it's just characters sitting in a kitchen, drinking tea from faceted glasses, and having an interminable conversation about politics and personal feelings <3 <3 <3 X) "Bear in the North" chocolates optional (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ru/c/c5/Mishka_na_severe_Big.jpg).
5. Murder Rooms (Book Series) - David Pirie. Requested characters: Joseph Bell, Arthur Conan Doyle, and Thomas Neill Cream.
I have a few ideas!! Pls read and choose whatever you want! Or ODAO and write me something completely different!
- Doyle just having massive PTSD/emotional issues in the aftermath of being captured by Cream (or in the aftermath of any Cream-related episode, honestly - it's all so traumatizing for poor Doyle), and Bell being the only one who can help and make him feel better and like he could actually heal from this someday. Maybe there's only emotional stuff involved; maybe it's about the physical torture, or maybe something noncon-flavoured occurred between Cream and Doyle (not necessarily outright rape, sexual assault/hints/general sleaziness also work). Either way, Suffering and Hurt/Comfort ensue!!
For the purpose of this prompt, it's fine to make a lot of things in the story sexual in nature and to include sexual aspects in flashbacks and conversations, as long as they're treated as clearly traumatizing.
- (not necessarily featuring Cream) Just any moment of emotional closeness where these two utter morons realize how much they care about each other. I love them so much, but I swear to g-d their friendship is the most interminable platonic slow-burn to ever grace this earth,,,
Feel free to borrow from/remix/spoof a Canon story, as is traditional for Murder Rooms :D
- (also not necessarily featuring Cream) On that note, I'll love anything that plays with a Canon story in-universe. How did something get written? What were the characters' reactions? What does Bell think of "his" portrayal as Holmes? How does Doyle feel about writing what is essentially iddy self-insert fanfic about Bell? XD Some of my favourite stories are BLUE, COPP, and HOUN. And, of course, 3GAR is a classic and there's a whole tradition of remixing it in Holmesian fandoms, so I'll always be delighted by a 3GAR exploration...
- In one of previous exchanges, I requested the freeform "Aftermath Of One Character Discovering That the Other Wouldn't Sacrifice Them For the Greater Good". I really want a confrontation over the fact that even though they swore to capture or kill Neill at any cost, neither of them is actually willing to sacrifice the other for that purpose. And one of them trying to give their life for the Greater Good (be it removing Neill or dealing with another similarly overwhelming threat) would make the other have a total ugly meltdown. Like, Doyle has always known one of them might die, but when he thinks Bell actually died, he loses his shit. And Bell says his life would be "unendurable" if Doyle got killed by one of Neill's surprises. They think they're SO prepared for this, but they're just. Really Not, lol. And I can just imagine them furiously shouting at each other, "so what, he gets to live?!" - "yes, if that means you live!"
It's just darkly hilarious to me that when they go, "yeah, we're totally prepared to die for this", what each of them actually means is "I will die for this so that he may live".
